Have you ever tried to diplomatically address a co-worker only to have it blow up in your face? Ugh.
Have your attempts to provide constructive feedback to employees been met with resentment and resistance? Exhausting.
Maybe you put all that time into the sale and something about what you said or the way you said it torpedoed that sale and maybe the customer relationship as well. What about your career?
Maybe your spouse, significant other, or one of your kids has stopped talking with you? (Ok, NOW I’ve got ya, right?)
“That’s not what I MEANT!”
“How did you get THAT from what I just said?”
” You don’t listen!”
“How could I say it any more plainly?”
Alot of us struggle with the ability to get out of our mouth what we had in our head. Could that be you? Or sometimes it comes out but it’s long winded and the point isn’t clear at all to the listener in the end.
If you are struggling with all this, you aren’t alone. But you can end up very alone if your reaction to unsuccessful communications is to adopt avoidance, leave it for someone else to deal with or just tolerate things because, by comparison, it’s less painful that way on everyone. The thing is you know that won’t work on any level over time.
No matter how many articles you’ve read or webinars you’ve attended, you’ll still be hit and miss to successfully apply things if you don’t know what about you makes some kinds of communications so difficult.
You can’t improve or change what you don’t understand. For example, are you an Initiator? Responder? Direct or indirect speaker? Do you focus on facts or feelings? Do you communicate and hear literally or figuratively? Do you recognize nuances or miss them?
There are unconscious but not undiscoverable factors that influence and affect the way each of us communicates. It’s our ignorance about our communication style not our different styles that creates stumbling blocks and obstacles for us.
There are good assessment tools out there that will help you take the guesswork out of your attempts to improve your communications with others.
Decide today to invest in learning more about your communication style and be on your way to greater success and improved relationships at home and at work.